Peace at Last

Well, we did it!
We made our decision.
And finally, for the first time in a month, we are at peace.
I had the thought at the beginning of December that if we sell our house we would be able to pay off a rental house we own and live, for the first time in our lives, 100% debt free.
It is actually the first house we owned.
I really have fond memories of that house, of the neighbors, of the park right in our front yard.
Really there were many things that made going back there seem really great.
First and foremost we'd have the financial freedom to do many, many more things.
We would be able to travel to fun places like Hawaii and Paris and take cruises in the middle of the endless winters.
On paper it seemed like the perfect plan.
We could save lots of cash and buy our dream house with cash in just a few short years.
Then the rent received would be income, money in our pockets, instead of going to pay the mortgage.
We were really excited about all the prospect, until we weren't...

I still can not put my finger on why we weren't.
We just could not feel right about it.
We tried with all our might to make it the right decision.
We prayed, and prayed and prayed and we got our answer.
For once in our lives we did not get the answer we thought we would.
Then one day we thought, this must be what it feels like when the answer is no.
For whatever reason, it was just no.
We said, OK, it's a no, we get to stay here, in our home that we adore!
Then, we felt the peace we had hoped we'd find about the other choice.

We'll be in debt a few years yet, but we have new resolve to stay on budget and pay it off as fast as we can. We get to keep our apple trees that we planted with our bare hands and are just now becoming fruitful.
We get to keep our gorgeous willow tree and tree swing.
We get to stay on our quiet country road and enjoy the smell of our fresh cut hay in the spring.

Our garden is going to be awesome this spring and summer!
I can hardly wait for the snow to melt.
We composted the thing like crazy!
Our children can continue to wonder around our land bare bummed and carefree, picking dandelions to their hearts content.

Doodle can keep her horses and chickens.
I really am in love with watching her with those horses.
Just today she went to take some garbage out to the garbage can and I watched as she tip toed through the snow with her bare feet to go see her girls.
She stood on the bottom rail of the fence and nuzzled their warm noses close to hers.
I am so glad we can keep these moments.

Mr Bird gets to keep his awesome barn.
He calls it his LPBOL
LAN party barn of love.
The whole top floor is filled with computers and servers and wires and gear.
It's his thing, don't ask me.
We are so glad we get to stay.
Perhaps it's another tender mercy!