Sunday, August 10, 2008

Happy Birthday to You, You Live in a Zoo

You look like a monkey and you smell like one too!
Yes, I know I smell, and now I smell one year older.
Happy Birthday to me!!!
I think the kids and I are going to celebrate tomorrow.
Or I could pretend I am not getting any older. I could hide my head in a hole and just pretend I'm still in my twenties.
I could call it my such and such annual 29th Birthday, for the rest of my life.
I could stay up until 3am and pretend it would not kill me the next day.
I could eat a whole batch of chocolate chip cookie dough and pretend I won't gain 10 pounds
instantly.
I could play Nintendo all evening long and pretend I didn't have any thing else to take care of.
I could eat A LOT of ice cream and pretend it won't give me gas.
I could read a book all day long and pretend I don't hear 4 children trying to murder each other and tear the house down around our ears.
I could eat whatever I want and pretend I'm not making sure I have enough fiber to not be totally blocked up for the next week.
I could wear a mini skirt and pretend I'm not worried about the whole world seeing my g's and my varicose veins.
I could go on a roller coaster and pretend I'm not totally nauseous and shaky for the rest of the day.
I could decide to not make dinner and just eat popcorn if I get hungry and pretend I don't have 5 other mouths and rumbley tummies to worry about.
I could pretend the baby I'm holding is my older sister's child because I'm much too young to have children of my own, let alone 4 of them!
I could pretend the prom dress hanging in the back of my closet is not hideously out of style.
I could pretend those lines on my tummy and butt are just lumpuckaroo from my jeans that are just a tich too tight and not stretch marks.
I could pretend I still look good in jeans that are just a tich too tight.
I could pretend to be happy about having another birthday and being yet another year older.
I could pretend to happily claim all of the things, good and bad, that have happened in my life to bring me to this blessed year and have made me who I am today.
I could act like a crazy twenty something year old instead of a crazy thirty something year old!
How can it be that I'm thirty something?
See how I'm not telling you exactly how thirty something I am?
Ya, I'm sneaky like that.
Let's just say I'm thirty enough to have dairy induced flatulence and an ever so week tummy at theme parks, not to mention varicose veins and 4 children!
Where did that come from?
Those are problems my mother used to gripe about. Now it's me!!! I've almost turned into my
MOTHER!
Ya, Ya, I heard you, Happy Birthday to me!

3 comments:

Sharida said...

Happy Birthday!! I hope you had a great day! I know what thirty-something you are. hahahahaha We should go to dinner to celebrate! Pick a day and call me!

Kristina said...

Happy Birthday to you!! Happy Birthday to you!! Happy birthday dear Sara, happy birthday to you!!!

The Lazy Organizer said...

What's wrong with popcorn for dinner? We do that at least once a week around here but it's even better with chocolate chip cookies!

I'm sorry you're getting so old. I hope that never happens to me. Happy birthday!!!