Thursday, January 1, 2009

Have You Ever?

This is my 100th post!!!
Yipee for me.
In celebration of such a big mile stone I will share a post I was inspired to write by one of the blogs that I blog stalk.
Yes, I blog stalk, but only the really funny ones.
Honestly, there's only like 3 that I think are so funny that I just can't get enough.
So one of them is Stephanie, a cute and very in shape mom of 2 little girls.
You know that list that is going around the blogosphere where you're supposed to bold the things on the list that you've done? Well, she came up with a list of 100 cool mom things. I read her list and laughed so hard. I thought about sharing her list here, but almost every single item on her list would be in bold. So as I was drifting off to sleep that night my very own list started to form in my head.
And here it is for all of you to look at and laugh at.
So I ask you, Have you ever...
1. Found love notes from your kids on your pillow.
2. Looked out the kitchen window only to find your kids chasing each other with really long sticks.
3. Thought the sound of your baby humming himself to sleep was way better than the most beautiful sonnet ever written.
4. Saved your little girl's beautiful hair by using peanut butter to get the gum out instead of just whacking it off.
5. Found your little girl with a chunk of hair missing all the way to the scalp and the scissors you could have swore you put away in her chubby little hands.
6. Cried with your hungry newborn knowing the pain that will accompany feeding those tiny little suckers. OUCH!
7. Nursed all those sweet babies anyway because you know nothing on earth could be better for them.
8. Worried your first born would drown in the toilet and the cause of her death would appear on the front page of every news paper in the nation.
9. Vacuumed the floor 4 times in one day.
10. Had a whole container of fruit loops fly out of said container and land in the hair of the people sitting in front of you in church.
11. Felt guilty for feeding your kids fruit loops for any meal and or snack.
12. Needed a vacation from your heathens.
13. Missed your heathens while you were gone.
14. Been "that" mother in the grocery store with a child screaming at the top of his lungs.
15. Ignored said child and continued to shop like nothing unusual was happening.
16. Been ecstatic beyond measure when you found out you were expecting.
17. Been a little less than ecstatic at the timing of one or more of your subsequent pregnancies.
18. Found out you love those little mistakes just as much as the planned ones.
19. Looked around you and wondered where on earth all these people came from.
20. Climbed a mountain with your kids in tow.
21. Put the kids to bed 1/2 hour early because you just can't take anymore.
22. Spent the first 48 hours of your child's life not able to sleep a wink, afraid he/she will stop breathing if you stop watching him/her for even a moment.
23. Painted a bedroom pink.
24. Built sand castles with your kids.
25. Ate your kids Halloween candy after they have gone to bed.
26. Paid a baby sitter with a 12 pack of Coke or a pound of See's Candy.
27. Watched with bated breath as your sweet baby toddles out his/her first steps, then grabbed him/her to celebrate with a million kisses on those ever so squishy cheeks.
28. Been so over whelmed with the thought of finding 4 coats and 4 pairs of socks and 4 pairs of shoes that you decided to just stay home instead.
29. Thought your kids were smarter and cuter than all of their peers.
30. Awoke your kids when you got home from date night because you needed a good night kiss.
31. Prayed for strength to finish a day.
32. Read a story without pictures to your kids and have them beg you not to stop, just one more chapter.
33. Begged and pleaded with a child to stop peeing/pooping in his or her pants.
34. Begged and pleaded with a child to stop eating his/her boogers.
35. Turned the music on really loud and sang and danced like a crazy person with your kids.
36. Made about 100 paper airplanes in one day.
37. Looked at your kids and wondered when they did all that growing and wondered how on earth that ever came out of you.
38. Thanked Heavenly Father for giving you 4 of the best kids on earth.
39. Washed countless puke blankets in the middle of the night.
40. Upgraded a child to a booster seat because it was easier than cleaning puke out of the car seat.
41. Wanted to puke while cleaning up puke.
42. Made a kid eat dinner even though they said they were not hungry only to have them puke up all of said dinner at 2 am.
43. Puked because of morning sickness.
44. Laughed when your 3 year old yells from the bathroom, "there's puke coming out of my bum!" knowing that's not puke...
45. Thought of how much easier life would be if you could just leave and go to work every day.
46. Loved the rainy days when you snuggle with the kids in a big blanket on the couch with a good book and yummy snacks, and not wanted to be anywhere else on earth.
47. Stepped on a Lego or a Hot Wheel in the middle of the night and held back that yelp of pain because you did not want to wake up the kids.
48. Noticed in Sacrament meeting that your 3 year old girl left her under ware at home in front of the toilet.
49. Felt like a failure at this mom stuff.
50. Had a baby blow out at church.
51. Had a baby spew 1/2 of the milk that he just ate all down your top at church.
52. Had spit up land in your mouth.
53. Found your 2 year old with your mascara painted on her face from her eye brows to her chin.
54. Took a picture of said mess rather than yell at her.
55. Learned to keep your make up bag out of reach of children.
56. Called poison control, 3 times in one week.
57. Chose to have natural child birth.
58. Chose to have natural child birth again.
59. Thought you caught a glimpse of eternity just for a moment as you stared into the deep blue eyes of your newborn.
60. Spent hours and hours just watching your baby sleep.
61. Wondered why no one ever told you how hard it is to be the mom.
62. Realized you would not have understood what they were talking about, you have to feel it to know it.
63. Thanked the makers of Huggies when you know that with any other diaper that would have been a blow out.
64. Stopped eating dairy because you thought your newborn was allergic to milk only to find out 5 months later that all breast fed babies have runny poo.
65. Cursed the universe for all the months of going without ice cream for no reason.
66. Laughed at the imaginary games your kids come up with all by themselves.
67. Sang millions of kid songs while driving if for no other reason than to keep the heathens from fighting in the car.
68. Realized real life is way funnier than the best comedy ever written.
69. Had the thought that you'd rather pull your fingernails out one at a time than have to endure yet another day of potty training.
70. Taken your kids home early from sacrament meeting because they were being so unbelievably naughty.
71. Continued said sacrament meeting at home on the couch so the kids can practice being reverent where you can yell at them if they mess up.
72. Been sprayed with urine as your boy child is exiting your uterus.
73. Opened Christmas presents before 5 am.
74. Heard your child read his/her first word.
75. Heard your child read his/her first chapter.
76.Had you child tell you on the way home from church that he got mad at his primary teacher (who just happens to be the Stake President's wife) and so he spit on her.
77. Marched your son over to said teachers house so he could apologize.
78. Used the T.V. as a babysitter while you showered or made dinner.
79. Realized none of the other moms on the block are perfect either.
80. Been scared to clip you babies fingernails for fear of clipping his skin too.
81. Realized you turn into a raging maniac person with anything less than 5 hours of sleep.
82. Snuck a snack in your bedroom that you did not want to share with your kids.
83. Had all 4 kids pile in your bed on a Saturday morning.
84. Had to call Roto Rooter after a toy was purposely flushed by your curious 3 year old.
85. Realized your kids are not the only naughty ones, that all 3 year olds are created equal.
86. Had your child steel a piece of candy from a drug store.
87. Marched said child right back in to give it back and apologize.
88. Thanked Heavens when the store clerk spoke to your child sternly instead of just laughing it off.
89. Wanted to die of embarrassment as your child ate her boogers in front of the entire church congregation.
90. Cried yourself to sleep thinking about potty training yet another child.
91. Found out you are not as patient a person as you had once thought.
92. Prayed every day for more patience.
93. Traveled in a car for more than 8 hours with 4 kids and found you still loved all of them when you got to your destination.
94. Dug 4 Hungry, Hungry Hippo marbles out of your 1 year old's mouth at one time .
95. Played hide and seek in the house with your kids.
96. Made up your own bed time story.
97. Looked down at your bosom after weaning your 4th child and wondered how on earth something so small could be so saggy.
98. Been sprayed in the face with baby food as your baby sneezes with a big mouth full.
99. Bribed your kids with candy or cookies or money.
100. Found out bribing works miracles.
Happy 100 to me!!!

3 comments:

Richelle said...

What a fun list! Those are great.

The Lazy Organizer said...

Congratulations!!! I can't believe you've been blogging that long already!

joyful.miller said...

Hilarious! I can only relate to a few of them however. I think I somehow missed out on a lot of that fun :)