Monday, April 6, 2009

Toilet Talk

Hello toilet!
How are you toady?
Can you come and play with me?
I swear these are the first thoughts my baby has every morning.
He gets out of bed and makes a bee line for the pot.
Disgusting, hug?
Anytime anyone leaves the bathroom door open and the lid up there is a baby in the pot.
He loves nothing more than to dip his ever so small fingers in the refreshingly cold water and to slurp the excess drippy water in a noisy slobbery gulp.
I guess he's thirsty.
It's a miracle he has not died from some sort of nasty bacterial infection.
See the toys in there?
Actually one is a sock (not poop, thank goodness) and the other is a toy.
He has also dunked books, Lego's, hot wheels, a Barbie, cups, the list goes on and on.
If he has it in his hand when he finds the throne, in it goes.
I think he's doing a life long experiment on things that float and things that sink and things that make mommy's head explode.
It's his second favorite thing, to throw strange things in there and watch mommy come running freaking out.
He looks at me like it's the best show he's had in a long time.
Lucky for me I have a knight in shining armour.
Beano will usually fish out whatever is in and dump it directly in the garbage for me.
Isn't he the best?
I have not even gotten to worst part yet.
He has been corrupting other innocent children. We were at my sister's house the other day and he showed her 2 year old how much fun it is to play in the toilet water.
She had never done such a thing in her life, up that point.
Leave it to my baby to corrupt the sweet mind of his little blond delicate cousin.
There is nothing worse than finding your baby teaching another kid naughty things, and then having to clean up nasty toilet water and two toilet water babies.
I know the best answer would be to just keep the bathroom door shut.
Done, problem solved.
But what about the other heathens that go potty and can hardly remember to wash their hands and flush the pot, let alone shut the door on their way out.
I could stand guard on the potty all day long to make sure it gets shut, but alas, we have 3 bathrooms. I really wish I could be 3 places at once but I have not figured that one out yet.
So if any of you have any advise on how to end the madness I'd be forever grateful.
Cause honestly, I'm at my whits end.


Lindy said...

The good news is that they eventually grow out of it! I was a toilet child too! I liked to flush things down the toilet. My mom has a memory of walking into the bathroom when I was about 3 and I was standing at the toilet saying "bye bye weebles(sp?)!" Weebles being the toy where "weebles wobble but they don't fall down", if you remember those. Anyway, many a plumber later, I outgrew it. I never drank toilet water though, so I don't know about that. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

LOL! Funny post. I didn't know what I was looking at in the photo...I'm glad that it's just a sock and a toy. Good luck. I never had a problem with kids playing in the toilet...just the dog drinking from the toilet, which I actually don't mind. It's cool and refreshing (for him, that is).

Raise Them Up said...

lol! I feel your pain. I have three boys (11, 9, and 4). When my four year old was little, it was a constant struggle.

The only thing I can offer sounds incredibly awful, but it may work. Have the other "heathens" (if they are old enough to appreciate the disgusting job) reach into the potty and retrieve the floating toys back out.

It might help them remember to close the door next time. :)


Amanda said...

Celia was the same way!! It was so embarrassing... one time we were at a friends house and she flushed the poor little guy's favorite stuffed monkey. Oh the drama! They were both in tears and I was mortified. Luckily, after that the toilet thing pretty much stopped!