Friday, December 19, 2008

In Memorandum

Dear Mom,
Has it really been a year since you left us? That does not even seem possible. It feels like this last year has passed by in a fog. Every month that passed I was left thinking of all the things we had done with you the year before. Has it really been a year since we brought our family to your house for a Sunday evening with Grandma and Grandpa? Has it really been a year since my kids piled on your lap for a story...or ten? Has it been more than a year since Moab in the Motor home? Have you really missed a whole year of watching my children grow and change? Can it be true that you only got to hold my sweet baby one time? He is getting so big, if you thought he was so cute then, I can only imagine what you'd think now. He would just melt your heart when he smiles at you, like he does mine. You would be so in love with that cute baby. I can just imagine you holding him and smiling and laughing with him. We miss you so much. There is not a day that passes that we don't think of you, and want you back. There is not a day that goes by that we don't thank Heavenly Father for His plan of Happiness and the knowledge that we will be with you one day soon. Sometimes I think about the worn out body you had and all the pain you had to endure in it for the last year of your life. I remember your positive "just keep swimming attitude" and it gives me peace to know that your spirit is freed from all that pain. You are no longer hindered by your physical limitations, for you, the sky's the limit, literally! When I think of the peace you must feel I am so happy for you. I am so thankful for all you taught me about being a mom. I know from you that I don't have to be perfect, but that if I love my kids and really show them my love, it will all be OK. You have such a love for your children, even the grave could not dull the love we all feel from you. You truly have left us with a legacy of love that will penetrate generations. Even if my children grow up with no memory of you, they will know you through the stories we tell them of you and your love for them. I can hardly believe we are fast approaching our second Christmas without you. My favorite thing about Christmas was loading up all the kids and all the gifts and stockings and spending the night with you and Grandpa. I loved it when Grandpa would wake up the whole house with a cheery "Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas!" at 4am because he just could not sleep any more. Christmas morning will never be the same for me. I am trying really hard to make new, happy traditions for my kids. I bet you have the best Christmases of all where you are. You get to spend it with our Savior. That must be breath taking, I can only imagine what that is like, what love you must feel from Him. I bet anything you are dancing with diamonds on the soles of your shoes! Well, my guess is that you are really busy and don't have time to read my novel. I just want more than anything to tell you that I love you and I miss you so much. Merry Christmas!
Love, Me

1 comment:

Shar said...

This makes me sad. I miss her! Love the picture though.