Consider the Lilies

A few mornings ago I woke up with a massive head ache.
My first awaking thought was wondering when this seemingly never ending pregnancy head ache would go away.

When I became more cognizant I realized it was awfully early for a head ache.
They usually don't grace me with their presence until after dinner.
As I made my way to the bathroom the first glimpse of myself in the mirror was considerably more scary than usual.
Was it the hair?
Nope, same frizz as usual.
Was it the pale lips and skin in general?
Nope, Same pallor every morning of my life.
The eyes, it was the eyes.
They were puffy and swollen and I looked awful.
Then I put 2 and 2 together.
The reason for the puffy eyes and throbbing head?
I had literally cried myself to sleep the night before.
There have been a couple of local news stories lately that have really hit me hard.
I don't watch the news, I heard about these from other people.
I'm sure I didn't get all the details, nor do I want them.
It's enough to know that these poor innocent children went through hell on earth.
I don't know if it's the pregnancy hormones or the fact that I have children the same ages as all of the children victums, but these stories have really messed with my head.
It has been a few weeks now and I still can not get them off my mind.
The night that I cried myself to sleep my mind would not stop thinking about those children's moments of suffering and it tore my heart from my chest.
There is so much about this world that I hate.
I hate that children have to suffer.
Then the words to one of my favorite hymns came into my head.

"Consider the sweet tender children who must suffer on this earth.
The pains of all of them He carried from the day of His birth.
He clothes the lilies of the fields.
He feeds the lambs of His fold.
And He will heal those who trust Him.
And make their hearts as gold."

~Consider the Lilies

Suddenly I was picturing those children wrapped in His arms.
The gratitude I felt for my pains that have been healed became palpable.
Two of the children did not survive.
Their last moments on earth were nothing less than horrific.
As I pictured them walking arm in arm with our Savior I felt their burden lift.
The other child survived.
She must live the rest of her life with the wounds and scars of what happened to her.
I pray with all my heart she can find the peace in His love that she needs, that will heal her.

These stories are not unique to my area.
Things like this are happening all over the world these days.
I'm sure you can all think of similar stories from your own local news stations.
The need for our Savior is universal.
He sees the ugliness in the world and we can find refuge from the storm in His loving arms.

My Mountains

Every week there's a new mountain to move.
Just when I think I have it conquered, it somehow sneaks back in and the next thing you know, there I am moving the veritable same mountain, week after week.
This relentless mountain?
Laundry
Let's just say it: it's never really DONE.
Because just when you think every stitch is clean and folded and put in its proper place some kids sits in mud or pees their pants or wipes boogers all down their sleeves.
(Kids are disgusting, I'm just sayin.)
Then, magically, the same mountain you just moved starts to reappear.
It's a funny thing, that laundry pile.
I remember when it was just Mr Bird and I and we were expecting Doodle.
I received tons of cute girl baby clothes from family and friends.
Before she was born I'd sit for hours and fold them and imagine my baby in them and place them in the correct drawers or hangers.
Then, when she was born I washed all of her clothes separately with Dreft,
a laundry soap formulated just for baby's super sensitive skin.
I loved folding her cute little clothes and seeing that little pile appear out of seemingly no where.
With each new baby the best part of laundry has been finding the miniature clothes and watching the tiny pile grow.
And for some reason the prospect of another new tiny pile makes laundry almost bearable again.
Almost...

Showing Up

I keep having these blog posts writing themselves inside my brain.
The problem is that I have not had the energy or desire to sit at the computer and write them.
So there they sit, day after day, in my brain along with the list of chores that need done and the groceries that need bought.
I forgot how much energy it takes to create a new person.
Or maybe I'm older now than I have ever been with any of my other babies and I've become a wimp.
Either way, my whole life feels neglected right now.
Except home school.
That's the one thing that's thriving.
I have plenty of time to be on the couch and read to my children or have them read to me or help with math and writing.
It has been fabulous.
Beano is reading better than ever and is starting to really love it.
He'll bring me his beginning readers and ask to read to me several times a day.
I love it.
But that is not what this post is about.
A few days ago I posted this on facebook:

"Now Hiring: personal chef. 3 week contract (or until the morning sickness passes). I'll pay what I'd normally make doing the same job (nothing). Any takers?"

I meant it as a joke and plus I was bored and wanted comments.
Well, this is one of the comments I got from just about one of the best people that I know.

"Sara, I'm busy tomorrow but I'd be happy to take the dinner shift on Thurs. Just have the ingredients & instructions out for me, I'll be there @5. Also, have you tried ginger or mint? They're tummy settlers, I've heard. Love ya!"

I tried to tell her she did not really need to come make me dinner, but she did.
She showed up on my door step just when she said she would.
She cooked my raw chicken *gag* and we chatted as dinner practically made itself.
After she left I got to thinking about her wonderful act of kindness.
I thought about how many times I've had the thought to do something for someone and I put it off until I forgot I even had the thought in the first place.
*Shameful*
But not Cindy the Great.
She showed up.
How great would this world be if we all showed up more often.
How much suffering could we eliminate if we acted on all those little thoughts we have?
Isn't that part of why we're here?
To learn compassion and service and love.
Because can we really love someone until we spend time serving them?
Weather it's making dinner or just two girl friends chatting, it's all in the name of service.
What woman do you know who can be happy and sane without a good gab session every once in a while?
So yes, even a good chat is a form of service in my eyes.
It makes us see that we are not the only ones with pain.
It makes us look outside our ever selfish world and actually see others and their pains and their joys and their trials.

"Have I done any good in the world today?
Have I helped anyone in need?
Have I cheered up the sad or made someone feel glad?
If not I have failed indeed.
Has anyone's burden been lighter today, because I was willing to share?
Have the sick and the weary been helped on their way?
When they needed my help was I there?
Then wake up and do something more
Than dream of your mansion above.
Doing good is a pleasure, a joy beyond measure,
A blessing of duty and love."
Hymn #223

It's time to get our tooshies in gear, including my own (as soon as I feel better!)
The world needs more like you, Cindy!

P.S. the fonts turned out really weird in this post and I don't know how to fix it, so there you go. Weird fonts and all.

Joy in the Journey

Oh look, I still have a blog.
I wonder if after the tumble weeds pass if there will be anyone left to read.
If not, that's OK, I still have me, myself and I to write for.
School starts this week.
It seems like just yesterday all of our cousins would be home and there was the promise of endless Summer nights and gallons of lemonade in our future.
All the lemonade has been guzzled and all the nights have faded.
We had a wonderful Summer filled with park days, the rodeo, fire works, watermelon, swimming, parades, horse rides, camping, hiking, music filled Sunday evenings and much, much more.
It's time to turn our focus back to our family routine.
I love our routine.
When I think about it I get a nice comfortable feeling.
It keeps me sane.
I have slowly been easing back into it for the last few weeks and this morning was a sheer joy.
I love home schooling my children.
While others are having back to school hoopla, we are eating our regular breakfast and doing our regular jobs and cuddling up on the couch (all 5 of us) for our morning devotional and the beginning of our "school day".
I love having my children close and reading scriptures together.
Today we read about the creation.
It seemed appropriate.
I love reciting and memorizing with my children.
I love to hear even the baby-who's-not-a-baby-anymore repeat the words we say.
He's one of us now, you know.
He's a big kid and he does literally everything the others do.
I love Doodle bringing me her math book and showing me the 7 pages she completed.
I love hearing the stories they write.
I love hearing my kids read their first words.
Today that is just what Dubs did.
We were playing with the alphabet flash cards and I laid out the "a" and the "t".
He read them.
Then I put the "c" in front and he read "cat".
Then we changed the cards from "c" to "h", "b", "f", "m", "n" and he read "hat", "bat", "fat", "mat", "nat".
He thought it was the best thing ever.
He laughed uncontrollably the whole time.
Meanwhile I was stunned that my little boy was reading real words, simple as they may be.
It's like he's on the edge, just ready to embrace it all.
I really do love this journey.
I have so many goals for this year, I am so excited.
The big one of course is to get through this pregnancy so I can love on that new baby.

Number Five

I'm pretty sure 5 is a lucky number.
At least it is for me.
I am so excited I can hardly contain myself, literally.
Mr Bird told me I had to wait until my first doctor's appointment to say anything about baby number 5, who is due to join our family April 2, 2011.
Well, today was my lucky day.
I told Mr Bird that I would not be able to wait that long until I spilled the beans, especially to people like my sisters and favorite nieces and certain family members and good friends.
I think half the world already knew before today.
So if you already knew our big news consider yourself in at least one of those categories.
What can I say, I just can't keep my mouth shut.
From the moment I knew for sure I felt like I would bust at the seams with excitement.
Part of me was a little nervous though.
I had fears of twins.
A friend of mine recently had a pretty ugly ectopic pregnancy (love you girl) and for some reason that put the fear in me.
Every little twinge of pain would throw me into sheer terror.
I had not experienced that terror with any of my other pregnancies.
So seeing our single little bean in the right place with it's fluttering little heart beat on the monitor today instantly put my fears to rest.
I was struck by how tiny and vulnerable this little being is.
I was struck by how much I love my baby already.
I just can't wait, it's going to be a long 9 months!
I guess this means Baby Cakes need a new bloggy name.
Any ideas?

SODAS

Guess what? I have really good news!
I have a reader!
I am so excited about this.
I really thought I was just writing to myself and stuff, but as it turns out someone actually reads my psycho babble.
I guess last week when I posted about The Ladder I mentioned SOADS and I never followed up on what they were.
My reader pointed out my error
(truthfully, I did not even remember I'd promised to explain. I'm getting old).
So here we go, SODAS is one of the little secrets I learned from Nicholeen Peck.
I use them all the time and I love them.
The kids, not so much, but I'm sure they will once they become parents.
SODAS is an acronym for Situation, Options, Disadvantages, Advantages, Solution.
So when a child is in 24 hour consequence they get to practice SODAS, a lot.
I give them a situation, for example: Your brother knocks down your block tower.
The child then has to come up with 3 options for his reaction.
For example he might say, "I could get mad and hit him or I could go tell mom or I could chose to share the blocks and build another tower with my brother."
Then we take it one step farther and he comes up with 3 Disadvantages for each option.
For example, the disadvantages of getting mad and hitting would be a time out, or the brother could hit back or his brother could get hurt.
He comes up with 3 for EACH option.
Then he comes up with three Advantages for each option.
For example, the advantages of getting mad and hitting might be the brother does not want to play anymore so I get all the blocks to myself, etc.
A lot of times they can't come up with advantages for bad behavior, or disadvantages for a good option.
Thus, they teach themselves the lesson by thinking it through and problem solving rather than me lecturing all the time.
Because we all know that when mom starts talking they tune out.
This is a brilliant way for the kids to teach themselves the things they need to learn to get along in the real world.
From Nicholeen's blog:
"The idea is that your child will become so natural at doing mental SODAS that they will problem solve all of life's problems, by the time they are adult age. By the time youth reach age 18 they should have all the basics of problem solving down, so that they can achieve their goals and lead out in their communities. "
I love this. As parents, it's our job to help our children to become reasonable and responsible adults.
I can't think of a better way to meet that end.
Cause and effect.
The last 'S' is for solution.
After talking about all the advantages and disadvantages they choose which option they think is the best and this is their solution.
Sometimes, just to be ornery, they still will say, "I'd chose to get mad and hit!"
And that is fine with me.
Again,from Nicholeen:
"Remember, whatever they choose to pick during the SODA is OK. Don't try to make them pick what you think is right. After going through the exercise, they know what is right, but sometimes they will test you to see if you really want them to choose for themselves, or if you want them to just choose what you think they should choose. Let them choose, and then if they choose a bad choice, simply say, "It is very interesting that you chose to... I am so glad that I know how you would handle this situation...This helps me better be able to decide what kinds of situations I can allow you to be in and not be in."
As long as they know that when they chose that behavior, the consequences will follow.
They, in essence, hand pick their consequences.
Doodle is to a point where she writes this out like an assignment, it's way better than writing, "I will not hit my brother." on the chalk board 100 times.

Beano and Dubs don't have terrific writing skills yet, so it's verbal with them.
I love getting in their brains and making them think and see the lights come on.
Baby will come to love them in time as well, I'm sure of it.
You really do need to read Nicholeen's post about SODAS, she's amazing.
Happy SOADS everyone, and Happy Birthday TO ME!
P.S. thanks for reading!

Dream Number 5,297

My Blog.
In my dreams I post on my blog at least once a day.
I always have something witty and thought provoking to say.
People come back day after day to laugh at the musings of me.
They just can't get enough.
I have tons of followers and people just want to give me stuff because they like me.
While all of this is happening I spend quality one on one time with each of my children every day.
I still make beautifying and cleaning my home a top priority.
In fact it's so clean all the time you could eat off the tile in the kitchen if you really wanted to.
I prepare gourmet organic meals 3 times a day and my children love and eat every bite of their meals.
We never waste food because we know there are starving children in Africa.
Laundry is always clean and perfectly folded and tucked neatly away in dressers and closets.
There is never a stray sock to be seen littering the bathroom floor.
I never yell or scream or nag at my children.
My children get up in the morning and spend several hours studying music and math and history without even a word of encouragement from me.
I spend my time in service projects to better our local community.
I teach all kinds of home school co-ops and our home school friends think of our house as their second home.
I bake fresh cookies several times a week to share with visitors and sick neighbors.
Sound out of reach?
Maybe, but I'm working on it.
I have such ideas about my ideal life and, as you can see, I fall short every day.
Really though, I feel so guilty when I neglect my blog for so long.
Maybe when all my kids leave home for bigger, better lives I can find a spare moment or a shred of energy to stay caught up.
For now, I guess you'll just have to take what you can get.