Pickles and Poinsettias

Another Christmas season is upon us. It is no secret that I love this time of year.
I love the smell of fresh pine and Christmas goodies baking in the oven. I love the Christmas tree in my living room with about a million colored lights on the boughs.
I love the ornaments we have made every year since Doodle was a baby.
I love the mistletoe hung in the archway.
I love listening to the primary children practise their songs for our Christmas meeting.
I can hardly listen to them sing the words of these joyous carols without getting all teary, no matter how many times I hear them sing the same song, over and over again.
I love hearing my own sweet little Sunbeam sing them at the top of his voice (and get all the words right) at the kitchen table.
I can't help but joining in at the top of my voice, too, much to the sharing of the other children.
I love driving around and seeing all the fancy light displays.
I love to hear my children's chorus of oooo's and ahhhhh's from the back seat as we approach a particularly magical house.
This year Mr Bird and I were lucky enough to enjoy The Forgotten Carols AND The Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas Concert, live. Both were amazing and added such a sweet spirit to our already festive season.
This year two of my favorite things seem so small compared to all the other sights and sounds of the season.
My lovely sister, Donna, gave me a jar of pickles for Christmas.
I could not have asked for a better gift in all the world.
You see, this was no ordinary jar of pickles.
The cucumbers were grown in her garden, hand picked and sliced with her own two hands.
She prepared the jars and brined the little lovelies with fresh dill and other yummies.
They remind me of the pickles my mom made when I was a kid, although my mom did not grow the cucumbers herself like The Amazing Donna does.
These mean so much to me probably because the last batch of homemade pickles I made did not turn out so well. I still have a dozen or so jars just sitting in the pantry untouched. They've been there for over a year, no one dares go near them.
Donna's pickles though? Like little slices of HEAVEN!
The next thing I am loving this year are the poinsettias.
Poinsettias have always held a special place in my heart.
My grandmother always had a live poinsettia in the kitchen during the holidays.
Some years the poinsettia lasted much longer than the Christmas season.
I remember one plant growing enormous, loving the warm air in the laundry room just behind the kitchen in the old house on Baker Street.
Then, after Mr Bird's mom passed away 4 years ago, one of our neighbors gave us a potted poinsettia in lieu of a vase of flowers.
Long after all the other flowers had faded and drooped and died, the poinsettia was just as bright and vibrant and full of life as ever.


photo by Precision Turf

In those bleak December and January days I needed that color and that life more than anything else.
Just the sight of it gave me hope in the everlasting life Christ promises to us all.
This year, my fabulous sister-in-law, Lisa, gave us a couple of poinsettia plants.
I love them more than I probably should love an object.
Again, I am brought to the knowledge of the gift of everlasting life The Wondrous Baby brought to all the world.
I see the vibrant red leaves and remember the blood He shed for me, for my silly sins that I somehow insist on committing.
I think of a love that brightens the bleakest, darkest times of our lives.
I love the Christmas season, I love the hope we are given each and every year, brought to us by a tiny baby born in the lowliest of circumstances the world has to offer.
I love the hope that when He comes again He will come, not as a babe in a manger, but in His great power and glory.
Then, every knee shall bow and tongue confess and my heart will burst.
I love Christmas because I love Christ.

Christmas Is... (2010 Edition)

Games at grandpa's house until way past the children's bedtime on Christmas Eve.

New warm soft cuddly jammies to sleep in.
One little boy not falling asleep until way past Santa's bedtime.
Santa stuffing stockings anyway because she can't keep her eyes open anymore.
(Yes, Santa is female at our house)
Same little boy waking up at 1 am to see if he missed the fat man.
Then again at 3.
Mom and dad telling him we're not getting up until 6.
Waking mom and dad up at 6:24 to say we slept in!
Stockings
Presents
Bows
Lights
Love
Each other, all filled with excitement.



Homemade rubber band guns.
Home made play dough.
Home made scarves and aprons.
Sock monkeys.



(Seriously, I'm in love with them.)
New clothes and shoes and books.
Farm toys and an army base.
My favorite gift of all: siting on the couch watching my kids play together and feeling this new little one all wriggly inside me, knowing I don't have to share this baby for another 3 months.



Bubble baths.
Finding out that if you turn the jets in the tub on that it multiplies your bubbles by a million.
Eating stocking suffers for breakfast and lunch.

Not feeling guilty since the stocking were filled with dried fruit and nuts and rice crackers and cheese (and only a few sweets as well).

Afternoon naps all snuggled up with my lover.
Being content to not go anywhere all day long.



Christmas dinner with grandpa.
Eating Christmas dinner on the same china that my grandmother served Christmas dinner on when I was a child.




Reading Luke 2 by the light of the Christmas tree.
A big glass of eggnog before bed.
Having all the kids in bed and asleep by 7:30.
Dreaming about next year.
But most of all, Christmas is love.

Christmas Time is Here

Wow, December has flown by. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and we are all just ready and waiting for the festivities to begin.
We have had such a fun, but busy month.
First of all, my baby boy turned 3.
I really can't understand it since he was just born last week.
He could not be prouder to be such a big boy.
Man, I sure do love that little person.

Speaking of little people, my nephew Bradley became a father last week.
What a cute little bundle.
I really can't understand that either considering he just turned 12 last month.
OK, not really, but it sure feels that way.
I feel like time is on the fast track again and everyone is aging, except me of course.

And speaking of tracks, last week we took the kids to Temple Square to see the spectacular lights and nativity.
They thought the best part was riding Trax to get there.
Those little boys were in boy heaven on that train.
It was crowded since it was rush hour.
I felt like I was back in Montreal on the Metro again.
I have to say I was in heaven on the train, too.
There were not enough seats for all of us and I insisted on standing, just like the
sardines-in-a-can-Metros of Montreal.
Wow, I can' believe I've been back from there for nearly 11 years.
Surely I can't be getting that old.

We have really enjoyed this Christmas season.
Time at home as a family, waiting for this new baby to get big enough to come out.
We have baked together, brought baked goodies to friends and family.
Doodle thinks that is the best part of Christmas. She is such a giving girl. As soon as we had cookies out of the oven she had a plate of them standing on our neighbors door, ringing the bell, smiling from ear to ear.
We have been busy making gifts for each other.
That is my favorite part of Christmas.
I love seeing the kids get excited to give something to their siblings.
I love the sparkle in their little eyes as they hand each other their gifts.
Priceless!
This year I made each of them sock monkeys.
I hope they like them as much as I do, I'm kind of in love with them.
I also made them each an apron, for all the helping they do with me in the kitchen.
So we are ready and waiting for the big day to come, when we all get to give each other our gifts.
And we get to think and talk about the best gift ever given.
The gift of God's Son to each of us.
The gift of healing and forgiveness and eternal life.

Speaking of eternal life, on Sunday we all met at the grave to remember Mr Bird's mom, who passed away 3 years ago that day.
Again, where has the time gone?
It feels like she was just here with us yesterday.
Sometimes I still expect to see her in the kitchen putting the last minute details of our family meal together.
It is at this time of year I am particularly grateful for the gift of eternal life.
I am so thankful for the sweet knowledge that we will be with our wonderful angel mother again. I miss her so much.
Merry Chirstmas, everyone!

Update: She Knows

Doodle found out the truth about Santa.
I did not have to say a word, she told me.
As the last few pieces of cereal were getting soggy in our breakfast bowls, just moments after the gift extravaganza, her steal blue eye met mine. "Now I know you're the one that really fills our stockings."
I breathed a sigh of relief that her brothers had rushed from the table to discover their new treasures more fully.
"How do you know?" The glimmer in my eye gave nothing away.
"I recognized those treat baggies and I saw a list of 'stocking stuffer ideas' on your computer a few weeks ago." She had been gathering evidence for a while and now it all came out.
She also told me about the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy while she was at it.
As it turns out, last Easter a friend at church told her the Easter Bunny was not real because he had not come to her house because her parents had been sick.
This friend split the beans about the parents filling Easter baskets and stockings.
Yet, when she gave me her findings, she did it with a question in her voice.
I think she was testing me.
Would I really tell her the truth, or continue to let the fairy tail live?
I killed the fairy tail.
Was it the wrong choice? Maybe.
I left it all on the line.
I told her the story of St Nicholas, of his parents' wealth and of his faith in Christ.
I told of his love for children and his desire to help those in need.
I told of his imprisonment because of his beliefs.
I told of his life and death.
I told her that he did not continue to live nearly 1,000 years.
I told her there was not a fat man in a red suit living amongst elves and reindeer in the North Pole.
I told her that was a fun fairy tail that makes great cartoons and greeting cards.
I told her it's magical for children to believe.
I told her that she was dead if she told her brothers.
I also told her about how the spirit of St Nicholas and of Christ still shine bright, even 1,000~2,000 years later.
I told her I could see their spirits in her eyes because of how giving and loving she is.
I told her that now that she knows the truth she gets to be a part of the magic of Christmas.
She gets to give like Christ did and like St Nicholas did.
It was a beautiful moment.
And you know what, I think she's going to make a wonderful Santa Claus!

Believe

"At one time most of my friends could hear the bell, but as years passed it fell silent for all of them. Even Sarah found one Christmas that she could no longer hear its sweet sound. Though I've grown old the bell still rings for me, as it does for all who truly believe. "
~The Polar Express

Do you believe in Santa? Do your kids?
My kids always have.
I wonder, though, if Doodle is starting to have her doubts.
The truth is, I kind of want her to start doubting. I am bursting at the seams to tell her the truth.

The truth is that St Nicholas was a real man.
He existed.
He was wonderful and caring and loved children.
He hated to see them suffer.
His real name was Nicholas of Myra (although he was know by many other names as well), a Greek Bishop around 1082.
He was an early Christian Saint.
He was the only child of very wealthy parents.
He was very religious from a young age.
His parents died when he was still a child.
This left him to the care of his uncle.
"Obeying Jesus' words to "sell what you own and give the money to the poor," Nicholas used his whole inheritance to assist the needy, the sick, and the suffering. He dedicated his life to serving God and was made Bishop of Myra while still a young man. Bishop Nicholas became known throughout the land for his generosity to the those in need, his love for children, and his concern for sailors and ships.

Under the Roman Emperor Diocletian, who ruthlessly persecuted Christians, Bishop Nicholas suffered for his faith, was exiled and imprisoned. The prisons were so full of bishops, priests, and deacons, there was no room for the real criminals—murderers, thieves and robbers. After his release, Nicholas attended the Council of Nicaea in AD 325. He died December 6, AD 343 in Myra and was buried in his cathedral church, where a unique relic, called manna, formed in his grave. This liquid substance, said to have healing powers, fostered the growth of devotion to Nicholas. The anniversary of his death became a day of celebration, St. Nicholas Day, December 6th (December 19 on the Julian Calendar).

Through the centuries many stories and legends have been told of St. Nicholas' life and deeds. These accounts help us understand his extraordinary character and why he is so beloved and revered as protector and helper of those in need."

That's the truth.

He did not continue to live for nearly 1,000 more years in the North Pole surrounded by little elves and magical flying reindeer.

But I truly believe that the spirit of St Nicholas lives on, even today, nearly 1,000 years later.

He is not one fat man in a red suit.

He is many, many men and women who are alive and breathing and walking among us and want to help alleviate suffering and teach about Christ and follow His example of giving.

And I am one of them.

Still don't believe?

One word.
Toys For Tots.
OK, that's like 3 words, but whatever.
If that is not the spirit of St Nicholas, I don't know what is.
What about Angel Trees? Secret Santa's? Food Banks? Local Bishops who take care of those in their congregations in need? Neighbor helping neighbor?
Need I go on?

Ask the single mother of a young family who is hopeless who opens the door to find a box of food and simple toys for her children she could not possibly have afforded?
Ask those children if Santa is real.
These types of miracles happen thousands of times the world over this time of year.
That happened to me many times growing up with a single mother.
I was the 5th of 6 children. My older siblings had found out the truth about Santa long before I ever did. I guess because of that, I knew the truth long before my time.

I don't remember the moment or the year when I found out the truth.
I do remember that long after I found out that the fat man in a red suit was a fairy tale, those gifts kept right on appearing on our doorstep.
There were so many loving neighbors and friends who had the true spirit of Christmas in their hearts.
Simply put, they had the spirit of Christ.
I can't wait to tell Doodle that the spirit of St Nicholas, which is really the spirit of Christ, is alive and well and that she, too, can have it.
She can be a part of something much bigger than herself and all the gifts she wants to get.
She can find those in need and give of herself.
Some of my best memories of Christmas is the service I have given.
The gifts given to angel trees when I have not even been there to see the gifts opened.
What have we done to show others the spirit of Christ? Have we given of ourselves?
Only when we find out that the spirit of Santa is thriving and we find out how to be a part of that can we truly hear the bells ringing.
The music seems sweeter, the spirit of Christ burns brighter and deeper and Christmas becomes magical again.
I guess I'm a little bit back wards.
I believe in Santa more now that I ever did as a child.
Merry Christmas to all, I love every one of you!

Luke 2

1 And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed.

2 (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.)

3 And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city.

4 And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:)

5 To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.

6 And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.

7 And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

8 And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.

9 And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

10 And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

11 For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

12 And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

14 Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

15 And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us.

16 And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger.

17 And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child.

18 And all they that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds.

19 But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.

20 And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told unto them.

I Love This Guy

Mr bird took me to the theater and out to dinner last night.
We got all dolled up and had a fantastic time.
We saw Charles Dicken's A Christmas Carol.
We went with our fabulous book group friends and some great family.

Here are a few highlights:

• Seeing dad very happy and in love
• Taking up 30+ chairs in the theater
  
• Seeing the little girls in their fanciest dresses
• Having a teenager come up to us and ask if we were in the play
• Feeling like a princess with my handsome prince (what can I say, I'm still a dreamer!)
  
• "God bless us everyone!"
• The 5 year old next to me climbing on her mommy's lap because the ghost of Marley was a little too real with the strobe lights and smoke machines
• Yes and No
• Mr Bird admitting that he loves to be the center of attention (we all knew that one!)
  
• 10 degrees outside and wearing heals on the icy pavement

• Trying not to spill food on the fancy dress
• Trying not to eat too much so I would not get bloated and have the bodice pinch me in half
• Going to Chuck-A-Rama in a ball gown
• Yes, I said Chuck-A-Rama
• Seeing one of the guys, Bret, in our group wandering around the huge buffet looking at all the scrumptious food with only pickled beets and sweet pickles on his plate
• Eating too many desserts
• My beautiful friend Lara who is 6'1" wearing 2 inch heals and explaining that sometimes she wears 3 inch heals if she really wants to make sure she's the tallest person there
  
• Going home with my date and climbing into bed with him instead of leaving him at the front porch
  

Getting Busy

I am So incredibly excited about Christmas. I can hardly contain myself!
Our family has a tradition wherein everyone makes a homemade gift for the other members of the family.
This year, since 3/4 of my children are losing teeth I will be making them these cute, so very easy, tooth bears from Martha Stewart. They are so cute with the little pocket to put the tooth in. Plus I have everything I need here at home already. Nothing like free cute bears!
The kids and I make things for daddy, things I want so badly to blog about, but I can't because you know who might see them.
Each child also makes gifts for each of their siblings.
Today Mr Bird took Beano away for a while and while they were gone, we got busy.
Each child in turn will get a 'date' with dad between now and Christmas and while they're gone the others will help mom make gifts for that sibling.
I love this tradition more than any we have.
The children absolutely love making things for each other. Today we made a comet toss game for Beano.
The whole time Doodle and I were working on it she could not stop talking about how much he would love it. "He's going to LOVE this!",
"I can't wait to give this to Beano, I wish Christmas were today!" I love that she's more excited about Christmas coming because of what she is giving, not because of what she may be getting.
I also love the one on one time I get with the kids as we create together.
I love that they each also get one on one time with daddy while we are home making things for them.
You want to know the best part though?
Christmas morning.
When it's time to open gifts, guess which ones they go for first?
Last year Dubs, 3 years old at the time, made Doodle a noodle necklace.
When we all went down stairs he went straight for the gift he had made his sister and was so excited to give it to her.
The look of sheer joy in his eyes as he watched with breathless anticipation as she carefully pulled back the wrapping paper was worth more than anything else we had purchased that year.
I love that they feel such joy in giving.
Doodle is getting so grown up. I love doing this with her. I love all of them, but it's more work helping the little boys. She is so fun and smart and loves the process. She is learning to sew. She made a bean bag toss game for Dubs and sewed all the bags on the sewing machine.
She made this cute no sew pillow (hers ended up rectangle shaped) for baby too. All of her gifts are finished.
She loved it.
Then, while Baby was napping Beano helped make finger puppets for him.
I can't wait to help the boys make Doodle's gifts.
But most of all I can't wait until Christmas when the children can learn to love giving even more!
What is your favorite Holiday tradition?

Tutus and Tights

Nothing says Christmas like The Nutcracker Ballet

I remember as a child watching the video over and over again.
I was totally enthralled with the sparkly costumes, the beautiful music and the magic of the hansom prince who was once a mere child's toy.
Our Thanksgiving weekend was the best time I've had in a long time.
We ate way too much Turkey, laughed until I thought I'd puke, attended a wedding (My father-in-law got remarried. Congrats Kent and Kathy, we love you both), had Mr Bird home and slept in 4 glorious days in a row.
Why is it I can never get out of bed in the mornings when Mr Bird is home?
He's just too cute and warm and snugly.
The kids think so too. All 4 of them ended up in our bed by 7am every morning.
It was heaven on earth.
Then Friday we saw Ballet West perform The Nutcracker.
It is the perfect transition from Thanksgiving to the Christmas season.
I did not go Black Friday shopping (although I have years past) and I can't say I really missed it.
Going to see the Ballet was much more fun and got me into the Holiday spirit way more than WalMart at 3:30 am ever could.
I think we have a new tradition!
It was fabulous to see all the little girls all dressed in their best clothes, the little boys wriggling in their collared shirts and ties.
When the music started and the curtain opened I could hardly keep my eyes on the stage. I was too busy watching the sheer wonder in my children's eyes.
They were absolutely mezmorized.
It was truly magical.

The Snow Queen has always been my favorite part.

She did not disappoint. She was perfectly sparkly and as graceful and beautiful as any snow queen I've ever seen. When I was a kid I would watch the ballerinas with sheer wonder at their flowing dance and graceful figures and I wanted to be them, just for a moment.
This production brought me back to those childhood feelings.
I would love to be a ballerina.
I just can't figure out how they bend their legs like that.
This may be one dream of mine that will have to remain a dream.
I don't think I could do splits in mid air if my life depended on it.
Mr Bird and I had fun looking at the men in tights.
We concur that Mr Birds bum is just as tight and that his thighs are even buffer than theirs.
Yup, I got a stud, what can I say!
Happy Christmas everyone! It's a 25 day long party!

Stunning

The view out my dinning room window this morning as the sun was peaking over the mountains was simply stunning.
There really is no other word to accurately describe it.
Except maybe breathtaking or gorgeous or phenomenal or beautiful.
Growing up in California it was a big deal to see snow. It snowed in my home town one time in the lifetime I was there. Even then, it melted as soon as it hit the ground.
My family took an annual trip up to the mountains, about an hour and a half drive, for the express purpose of playing in the snow. My mom would bring a huge crock pot full of warm chili and we'd bundle up like the Michelin Tire Man. Since one trip up to play in the snow per year did not warrant snow boots, we improvised.
We put on a pair of socks, followed by plastic produce sacks, followed by another pair or two of socks and then our shoes. We wore at least 2 pairs of pants, a few shirts and sweaters, hats, gloves, ear muffs, scarves and the heaviest coats we owned. By looking at us you'd think we were planning a week long camping trip to Siberia.
Still, when we found a good spot to stop and play we inevitably spent a few moments in sheer wonder at the beauty all around us.
This morning, I felt like that little kid again, even though I've lived in snowy Utah for nearly 10 years.
As I looked out, the sun was just peaking over the mountain behind our barn. The first rays of daylight spread light on the newly fallen snow and the sunbeams bounced off the tiny ice crystals, creating a glittery greeting card scene.
Beyond our barn and chicken house I could see the little hill off in the distance. The houses that line the ridge of the hill where wearing a blanket of white, with a few of them emitting soft billows of gray from their chimneys.
Behind the hill even further still I saw the majestic mountain standing bold and strong and high, it's peaks and valleys seemed dusted with a fresh layer of powdered sugar.
As my eyes followed the tips of the mountain upward, my breath was nearly taken away as I looked at the beautiful sky.
It was filled with puffy clouds, with bits of sky peaking through.
The clouds were painted every shade of color between a deep steal gray and sky blue to magnificent pinks and purple and silvery white.
It was magnificent and awe inspiring.
I wanted nothing more than to sit and stare out my window all morning long.
I am constantly amazed at the beauty all around me, if I only take the time to notice it.
I feel like so many times I get so busy with my to do list and taking care of everyone that I miss the important things, like watching the sun rise.
I sat and watched as the deep gray gave way to the morning light and the sky was a bright shiny blue and silver.
Then I got up and showered and made breakfast and cleaned rooms and dressed and brushed children and then I realized something.
Today is the best day I've had in a really long time, so far...
Thanks sunrise, for reminding me of the beauty all around me, especially the beauty of my home and family.

Holiday Cheer, Muppets Style

Thank you Muppets!
I have already found some of my lost Christmas cheer thanks to you and all your silly silliness.
The kids and I were driving home last night and I turned on the radio station that plays Christmas music starting the day after Halloween.
Guess what was on?
John Denver and The Muppets singing The 12 days of Christmas.
Somewhere around the 6th verse Dubs let out a little giggle.
Then Dubs and Beano both laughed a little louder.
By the ends of the song everyone in the car was belling laughing, even Baby Cakes.
It felt so good!
Thank you Muppets, I knew I loved you for a reason!

Celebrate

I heard Christmas Music on the radio today.
The holiday season is upon us.
It used to be that the first Christmas song on the radio was a celebration.
It brought happiness and peace to my soul and made the whole world feel right.
Now when I hear those same sweet tunes part of me aches.
December 19, 2007 my mother-in-law passed away, just 9 days after Baby Cakes was born.
Sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday.
The whole holiday season was rough that year. She had been sick long before Thanksgiving.
We buried her the day after Christmas.
We heard songs like Oh Holy Night and What Child is This on the radio on the way to the cemetery.
We tried so hard to celebrate that year, but no one really felt much like celebrating.
All we could do was turn on the radio.
Those songs were playing during, hands down, the saddest, hardest days of my life.
Now whenever I hear them I hear the memory of that mourning.
Last year was no easier. The pain of just one ever so brief year gone by was still so strong.
As the holidays grew near the whole family just wanted to hibernate, how could we have a normal holiday season without her?
It did not seem real or possible.
Last year was so bitter sweet.
The songs were laced with sadness once again.
I long to hear the music the way I did before.
I want to hear the joy, but somehow it has gotten lost behind the sadness.
How do I get past this?
I want to love the Holidays again.
I want to hear the music and get excited about Christmas trees and eggnog and lights and snow and Santa cookies and mistletoe.
I want to hear the laughter again, my own laughter and I want to play with my kids and anticipate that wondrous day.
I want to feel the peace of the Savior on the anniversary of His birth.
I have had lots of realizations lately.
One of which is that Christ will not rescue us from our problems and fears and hurts.
But He will help us through them.
He will take our hands and hearts if we let Him and stay with us while we go through the hard times. He does not promise us a struggle free life, but He does promise His peace during those struggles.
This year I will celebrate. I will celebrate the love of a wondrous Savior.
I will celebrate the love and life of a mother who accepted me and loved me like one of her own.
I will celebrate tiny hands and sweet babies.
I will see the magic of Christmas through my children's eyes.
I will let Christ heal my heart and make this part of me whole again.
I will love those around me more fully.
I will carry on traditions and keep my dear sweet mother-in-law a part of our memories and celebrations.
I will celebrate and laugh and sing.
I will sing those songs and I will let the melodies and sweet messages penetrate my heart once again.
I will let the warmth of the season heal my soul.

Where Are You Christmas by Faith Hill

Where are you Christmas
Why can't I find you
Why have you gone away
Where is the laughter
You used to bring me
Why can't I hear music play

My world is changing
I'm rearranging
Does that mean Christmas changes too

Where are you Christmas
Do you remember
The one you used to know
I'm not the same one
See what the time's done
Is that why you have let me go

Christmas is here
Everywhere, oh
Christmas is here
If you care, oh

If there is love in your heart and your mind
You will feel like Christmas all the time

I feel you Christmas
I know I've found you
You never fade away
The joy of Christmas
Stays here inside us
Fills each and every heart with love

Where are you Christmas
Fill your heart with love


This year I will let Christmas fill my heart with love once again!

Christmas is

New warm jammies on Christmas Eve.

Leaving milk and cookies for Santa, has to be chocolate chip, his all time favorite.

All the kids sleeping together in a nest of blankets in the big room in the basement.
Doodle waking up at 2 am ready to open presents.

Mom saying half asleep, "Go back to bed!"

Mom and dad not sleeping a wink.

Doodle waking up again at 4 am, then again at 5 am.

Eating goodies out of the stockings at 5 am.

Finding the plate of half eaten Santa cookies.

Watching the kids dig through over stuffed stockings, wondering how on earth Santa got all those treasures in there.

Baby steeling goodies from everyone else's stockings at 5:15 am.

Kids finding the massive train set and falling over out of sheer joy.

Dad getting the first turn with the train.

Hearing that blasted train set ALL DAY LONG.

Baby's first Christmas gift.


The joy of a 3 year old finding a gift just for him.

Brand new remote controlled airplanes!

Footie jammies.

The smell of home made cinnamon rolls baking.

Beano showing Dubs the gift he made all by himself, just for Dubs.
Home make sock puppets and fuzzy felty frog puppets and noodle necklaces made by the kids, for each other.
My kids discovering the joy of giving.


Daddy half asleep at 6 am after all the gifts are open.

All the kids playing quietly and contentedly as mom and dad nap.

Trying to decide which new crisp book to read first.

Sitting down with one of those brand new Christmas books with all the kids on the couch with a big warm blanket.

Reading 50 pages cuz we just can't put it down, it's that good.

Watching Charlie Brown Christmas.

Visiting with family for Christmas brunch.

Talking to my missionary nephew at his mom and dad's house.

Staying at Christmas brunch until dinner time.

Listening to my nieces and nephews play piano and violin.

Holding my 5 week old nephew and remembering how tiny Baby Cakes was just last Christmas.

Singing Grandma got run over by a reindeer.

Cry remembering how grandma loved that song.

Wishing she could still be here.

Night time coming all too soon.

Not wanting to go to bed because that will mean Christmas will be over.

Waiting for next year to come!

It's Christmas Eve!

Go hug your kids and have some eggnog.

May all your dreams come true this joyous season!

Merry Christmas!

P.S. Don't forget to make home made cookies for Santa, he'll love you forever!

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

I love all the sights and sounds and smells of Christmas! One of my favorite things to do is to go sit in the living room with Mr Bird after the kids go to bed and just be with the pretty Christmas tree. I love the stillness of the house and the closeness of my sweetheart.

Have you ever just sat and stared at the tree with squinty eyes so all the lights seem to blur into one mass of gleaming light?

No? Me neither.

I'm just saying when I was a kid I may have done it a few times.

OK, every time I passed the tree.

And I may have done it once in a while since I became an adult.

OK, I do it all the time.

Like I've said before, I'm just a kid at heart, I can't help it!

See the cute Ho, Ho, Ho sign?

I made that!

I intended it for a white elephant gift. I thought I'd just put in up with all my Santa stuff just until the party. Well, turns out after a few days I could not part with it and it found a new home. I ended up bringing a mostly full box of Otter Pops I found in the barn for a white elephant gift instead. My teenage nephew who ended up with it was very pleased, I don't think he would have liked my sign much anyway, I'm glad I kept it!

I also made all of our stockings. I started when we just had Doodle. I have had to make a new one almost every year since.

I think they just keep getting cuter and cuter. I may just have to have more babies just so I can make more stockings, I did not have to make any this year.

*Weird*

Here are more of my favorite Santa things. You can not see them very well in this picture but the tin is a Norman Rockwell picture of Santa peeking around the back of a chair with two sleeping kids in it. I just love that for some reason!

Last but not least,

My Nesting Dolls

I have the biggest fascination with nesting dolls.

It must be that kid at heart thing again.

I just love playing with them and looking at the tiniest doll.

They are not much bigger than a small Christmas light bulb.

I just can't handle all the cuteness!

My favorite thing about nesting dolls is watching my babies start to figure out how to put the pieces back together. They have all done it at this age. They get such an intent look on their face. It makes me want to just squish those cute little smart cheeks!

So there is a peek into our Christmasy home.

Merry Christmas!

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