Wednesday, January 25, 2012


Are you on facebook?
I am.
Most of the time it is enjoyable.
I have made contact with long lost relatives and friends, distant cousins and my childhood best friend.
I know things about people like what they ate for breakfast and how many children they have and where in the world they are now.
My favorite part of facebook is seeing the new babies.
I'm not going to lie, I may have a few extra babies because my friends are constantly posting photos of beautiful toes and fingers and pudgy legs and my ovaries just can't take it.
I start thinking baby again and then I start speaking my mind.
Pretty soon Mr Bird caves and the next thing we know we have another sweet baby to hold and cuddle and kiss.
I LOVE it!
But once in a while facebook has it's drama.
I could go on and on about facebook drama, but I will not.
I learned really fast to keep it light.
I can not post about politics or religion or even nutrition.
Which is totally fine with me, I understand and accept that we all have our own points of view and ideas and standards.
Facebook is not the place to debate such life topics.
That being said, a funny thing happened yesterday.
It was a misunderstanding of the funniest sort.
You know how sometimes when a friend posts a comment on a photo, it will show the photo on their wall for all of their friends to see, regardless of weather or not those friends even know who the original poster of the photo even is, or not?
Well, yesterday my sweet cousin posted a picture of her positive pregnancy test.
Naturally I commented and congratulated her.
Well, that comment put her photo on MY wall.
I had several people comment face to face to me about the photo and offer their congratulations to me on my soon to be new baby.
It took me a while to realize exactly what had happened.
But once I did, I just laughed!
So no, I am not expecting, although I have to say I would not be terribly sad if I were.
So here's to facebook!
I love all of my virtual friends, along with the real ones that I see and talk to in real life!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Perfection Eluded

"Why can I never get this house CLEAN??!!?"
The words erupt out of me, carrying with them the stress I feel in every pore of my body.
I look and see someone's toothbrush on the needed-to-be-mopped-days-ago tile floor and shudder.
Undoubtedly the little owner of that gross brush will put that thing in his mouth for the express purpose of cleaning his teeth.
Seems ironic.
I am beyond caring about such minor details.
I yell at the little owner to replace it in the bathroom drawer so at least I don't have to look at it anymore.
My words cut, even I can feel that.
Somedays I wonder why I even bother at all.
No matter how many times I have them clean up, no matter how many times I teach them to put their things away, the hurricane is relentless.
When they are tucked into theirs beds all peaceful and cozy with sweaty little heads, the destruction they've left in their wake is still there.
A pile of laundry here, a light saber there, a puddle of who-knows-what under the table.
Oh well, I think, the dog will lick it (whatever it is) up in the morning.
I trip on Lego's and plastic horses in the darkness on my way to kiss their stinky, sleeping heads.
Do I battle the winds day in and day out?
Do I stay up and clean?
Where did the hours in the day go, anyway?
Or do I just give in to the chaos?
Where is the balance?
Why can I not have a perfectly clean house and perfectly well behaved children who are perfectly smart in all areas of learning who never fight?
Isn't that the goal?
Why does it elude me so?
The answer comes painfully sharp to my heart.
Because I'm not perfect.
I am not perfectly clean, though I try hard. My desk is a pile of things that need to be dealt with, but haven't yet.
I don't always behave as I should. I yell and fuss when I should bend down and hug.
I have yet to learn all things. Along this home school journey I feel like I am the one on a quest for knowledge. Doodle is learning about U.S. history and the constitution and the branches of government. I must have missed that whole year in school because I am ashmed to say how much I am the one learning from her 4th grade lessons.
I wish I could say I never fight. I have a strong will and sometimes I just can't let things go.
So there it is, friends.
I (believe it or not) am less than perfect.
Much, much less.
So are my children and my house and my husband and my dog (she pooped on the floor just yesterday).
(Little M&M is the only perfect one around here, but that's only because she hasn't learned to talk yet.)
And guess what?
I don't plan to be perfect anytime soon.
If there's one thing I've learned time and again, it's this: no matter how seemingly perfect someone might seem on their blog or on facebook or at church, they are not.
Well, maybe THEY are, but I'm not, not by any stretch of the imagination.
I have my struggles, temptations, annoying habits and ugly bed head when I wake up in the morning (which stays with me on the days I don't leave the house).
We have messes in the living room after a long morning of studying.
Sometimes I go into the kitchen at 4:45 with no idea as to how it got so late and no idea what I'm going to make for dinner.
I often feel overwhelmed and stressed and even angry.
Those are the days when I snatch up the only perfect one in the house after dinner and take her to my bedroom and lock the door and just snuggle her on my rocking chair in the quietness.
I breath her in, trying my hardest to ingrain her babyness into my memory to conjure up again once she's all grown and they're all gone.
So for now I think I'll leave the mess.
I'll just sniff all of my babies heads on my way to bed and it will be enough, more than enough.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Sugar Free Zone


My awesome nephew, Caden, went all of 2011 without eating any candy.
Not one M&M, Skittle or even a tiny little Nerd.
I could not be prouder of that kid.
That means no candy on Valentine's Day or Easter or Halloween or Thanksgiving or Christmas or any birthday party pinatas.
For a boy in Middle School, that is no easy task.
He is my hero.
I wish I could say the same for myself.
It helps that he was dared and that the prize at the end of it all was one hundred bucks!
My favorite photo on facebook this whole year was the one of Caden just after midnight on New Year's Eve literally dumping jelly beans in his mouth.
It was classic.
He knew he had conquered a huge feat and was celebrating.

My cute little Caden with the iron will has inspired me.
I'm not usually one for New Year's resolutions just because I'm always working on personal goals all year long.
But this year I have decided to bite the bullet and make a goal.
Can you guess what it is?
It's a big one for me.
I try all of the time to eat healthy, but I slip when sugar is around.
At family parties the cupcakes and brownies call my name and I can't resist.
If there's chocolate in the near vicinity, I will sniff it out and it will not last the hour!
But this is the year that I will change that!
My goal is, drum roll please......
No sugar for the whole year of 2012!
That includes any form of processed sugar like high fructose corn syrup.
Bye, bye gummy bears and M&M's!
Natural, whole food sweeteners are OK.
Do you think I can make it?
I have my doubts.
But fear not, I have a plan.
I usually do really well here at home.
I have not bought any white sugar for over a year.
I use honey and molasses and Raptadura and pure maple syrup in my baking and yummy treats for my kids.
We already don't drink soda or have candy around the house.
(Although I do have about $40 worth of See's gift cards from Christmas...)
I have some yummy recipes for homemade chocolate balls that have no sugar. If it were not for simple recipes like these chocolate balls and homemade ice cream I know I could not make this goal.
But knowing the yummy treats I can make to replace these sugary goodies, I might have a shot.
The hard part for me is the family parties and the Holidays.
I have a plan for that as well.
I will make homemade yummies and carry them in my purse so I can have some while everyone else is feasting on sugar laden yummy morsels.
My motivation for doing this is the same, seemingly unattainable goal of good health and longevity and clear mindedness.
I feel better when I don't eat sugar, I already know that and I want this year to be full of life and energy and fun times with my kids.
We all know sugar is not good for our health.
This is the year that I'm ready to do something about it.
And besides if Caden can go without candy for 365 long days, I can do this, too!
If only someone would pay me a hundred clams to make this huge (at least for me) goal.
Anyone want to sponsor my year of no sugar?